Area vampires, such as this one, have upped attacks on innocent humans and Red Cross blood drives

In yet another foray into Philadelphia institutions and the unions that drive them, the local chapter of the Teamsters union is feuding with none other than the Red Cross. Yes, the non-profit organization that makes sure life preserving blood is available to medical facilities all around the world.

Not only have they been accused of blocking trucks carrying blood, but local vampire incidents have suddenly spiked as well leading union opponents to accuse the union of  trying to create a blood shortage.

“The use of vampires to drain people of blood is a brilliant way to corner the blood market and gain a situational advantage,” a source told us. They requested anonymity because of fear of being bitten by a vampire, becoming a vampire and then being thrown into the daylight.

Teamster members that work at the Red Cross pack and store blood, load trucks, deliver blood, assist at blood drives and have no sense of human compassion or the concept of dignity. The complaint from the union cites that the The Red Cross is seeking to reduce lunch breaks to 60 minutes from 120 minutes. They also demand that all other positions within the Red Cross be unionized.

“We need union carpenters to build better racks for the blood. We need electricians to power the blood, plumbers to work the blood pipes and painters to paint the blood,” the Teamster picketers told us. “And we don’t know anything about any vampires. All we know is they are make believe monsters.”

Calls to representatives from Vampires Local 666 for comment were not returned.