Archive for the ‘"News"’ Category

Mayor Nutter in his special mayoral space suit makes the announcement for a new moon tax.

In a surprise historic event, Mayor Michael Nutter announces a new tax on moon gazing. And to prove just how serious he is, he actually went there to make the announcement.

“This is a historic day for Philadelphia, all of America and indeed the world,” Mayor Nutter said. “I am the first black Mayor to visit the moon to talk about a great way for Philadelphians to not cut programs in their neighborhoods by paying $7.50 every time there is a night where the moon is shining and is more than half full.”

Instead of collecting the millions owed to the city by businesses, private residents and illegal immigrants, the city has decided to continue to tax the people who do the right thing by implementing a trash collection fee. The good news is we wont be taxed on all the trash that covers our streets. The even better news is the city is rolling out a Recycling Rewards program to help offset the impending $300 cost of trash collection.

Maybe it will be $1.22 off a 2 liter of soda, maybe its will be reduced admissions to area attractions, but coupons will be king. Mayor Nutser says citizens could earn enough coupons (they are calling them rewards) to offset the annual trash fee. The city will be placing a sticker on your recyclable bin, which will be scanned each week, and your rewards will be based off of your “recycling performance”. Think it sucks being stuck behind a trash truck now? Wait until they have to scan every bucket before they empty it!

The city made about $375,000 from recycling last year with a 12% participation rate. The city gets $5 per ton. At any rate, with the new program, the city could be pulling in several hundred thousand, and private residents will get a coupon for a free ice cream cone?

Not too worried about our waistlines there now are we ?

Philadelphia man John Crackel destroys his neighborhood but not using a ladder safely while cleaning his gutters.